Crazy Winter

The buses won't be running

I doubt the trains will go

The tracks will all be frozen

Cos we've had a bit of snow.

The bins will go unemptied

Bags of rubbish uncollected

And cats will tear them open

if the smell of meat's detected

There'll be no salt in Sainsbury

It's all been bought in bulk

To spread on icy pavements

And make the children sulk

Their ice rink now destructed

And all schools closed for days

They'll go in search of mischief

And pray this weather stays.

The pipes will all get frozen

The toilet turn to ice

It's not a laughing matter

Frozen assets are not nice!

The national grid will falter

As thermostats all rise

Cos it's winter and it's snowing

It's not such a surprise

Yet the promised preparations

Are each year doomed to fail

There's no grit in the country

When low temperatures prevail.

The met office is struggling

to keep us up to date

We're buying up thermal knickers

And getting in a state

Our winter comes round annually

We're used to it, although

There's nothing quite so crazy

As Britain in the snow.

Karen Holmes

30 November 2010