Where's my truth?

This poem speaks about the way we like to be in control, and that's ok, it's a human part of us.  But when it becomes too much to hold everything together we realise that there's more to life than the minute detail of our planning and decisions, our souls cry out for nourishment.  And so, when I speak of relinquishing control to God, I do not mean that we let go of all we seek, I do not mean we become less, I mean that we then reach our highest potential, our highest gain and enjoy our fullest life!  Inspired by a conversation with a friend.



I'm in control, my life's all sorted
I know my plans, I won't be thwarted
My head is full of things to do
Each day I think of something new
I'm working hard to earn the cash
Yet every penny's spent so fast
I'm trying to keep the plates all spinning
And usually it seems I'm winning.

And yet..........

I long to know so many things
If I could fly I'd spread my wings
And travel all the earth to find
The answers to my searching mind
I'd search the temples, wisdom seek
I'd sit enthralled as wise men speak
For many viewpoints thrive out there
But where's my truth, my solace, where?

I seek..........

Then God, in His all knowing way
Steps into chaos, gets in our way!
And silences all other voices
That clamour for our hasty choices
Bids them cease and slows down time
Brings stillness to this soul of mine
He rushes not, but tenderly
Reaches out, takes hold of me
Enfolds me in His warm embrace
And wipes the tears from off my face.

I know.......

It's God and me, none to distract
And my soul leaps to interact
with God - for in the depth of me
I recognise that only He
can fill that emptiness I find
remains, despite my crowded mind.

And I relinquish every goal
And cry "Oh God, come take control
For only then will I attain
The fullest life, my highest gain.

Karen Holmes
August 25th 2013

Where Are You?

This “poem” was triggered by a conversation with a friend.  I cannot now remember all the details of that conversation but it went along the lines of “despite all the looking, I don’t know how or where to find God.”

From my own experience I do agree that God can seem elusive and very often it is a step of faith which initiates our experience of Him rather than a step of absolute conviction.  As time goes by I realise that I find less of God in the Church and more of Him in my heart and in other people, often those unconnected with the church.  God exists, I have no doubt of that but He is, in my opinion, portrayed incompletely by the Church.

**********
I’ve been looking for You for a while now, God, seeking You out in the hidden places
Looking for You in tear stained faces, calling Your name in the dark.

I’ve been looking for You in the grand cathedrals, in the pages of books, dusty and torn
It seems I’ve been searching since I was born.

Where do You hide?  And why, I wonder.  Inaccessible, gone from view
If I searched the whole wide world, where oh God would I find You?

Perhaps in the East, amongst the tourists, in the temple of Jerusalem
Or on that hillside, place of the skull, do You dwell there now as You did then?

Are You in heaven, looking down?  Seeing our struggles, watching our search
Will I find You if by chance I happen on the perfect Church?

Do You want to be found God?  Is this a game of hide and seek?
How long must I look, how long before You speak?

Prove Yourself God!  Come on out of the safety of wherever You are, come and touch my life - and I, in turn will touch those scarred and nail torn hands.

God, where are You in my struggles, in my grief, my loss, my hunger for the truth?
Come and reveal to me the greatness of Your resurrection power, come and relieve my aching heart, come and set me free to dance, to rejoice, to believe, to see…

To see the reality of Jesus, to dwell in the presence of the Most High God.
Where are You?  Where are You?  Where are You?


And God replies-

I am here, I am the breath of wind upon your face, the sunshine that warms you, the snow that makes your fingers tingle with cold.

I am the food you eat, the sustenance you need to survive, I am the roof over your head, the warmth of the fire in the centre of your home.

I am the tears you cry and the laughter that resounds.  I am your hope.  But most of all I am Love.

Not that I do love or I am capable of loving - although these are true - but that I AM love, the very essence of my being is love, my very nature is love.

Each time you celebrate love, you celebrate me.  Your kisses, your hugs, the ones you hold close to you - the expression of your love is the expression of all that I am.

Your friends, your family, the one whose hand you hold as they cry, the one you embrace in the middle of the night when you feel alone, the one you reach for - proof of me, a demonstration of all that is good.

The one you call your lover, the one who sees you truly naked - not of garments but of all that you portray to the world in order to survive - that is love, and I am love and I am in all you do which is loving.

You say you do not know me, but you do.  You know me in every kind word, every gesture of tenderness, every tear you wipe away, every time you say, “I love you”, you prove that you do know me.

Now, come, let me embrace you in the fullness of love such as you have never known before.  A love that will never fail you, never disown you, never let you down, never cause you pain.  A love that is all consuming and all encompassing and all knowing and all providing and ALL that you could ever need.

How?  It’s easy! Talk to me, accept that you were never intended to struggle alone, accept that the way to me is easy, and I am closer than you think.  All you have to do, is come to me.  I am waiting for you.

Soul Dance

In a darkened place, in a box closed tight

So many things kept out of sight

And some would say it’s for the best

To not unlock the treasure chest

But my heart and soul cannot agree

For they’re dancing in the light

And it would be cruel to return them to

Their prison, due to fright

For what is fright but fear of that

We haven’t known before

And how can we expect to grow

If new truth we ignore

The things that our souls know are true

Are valid, vital, real

And I can’t go a squandering

The deep delight I feel

I totally refuse to take

A step back into hiding

But stand up tall with head held high

In heavenly love abiding

Oh yes, you thought that I’d forgot

Or fallen far away

Yet he’s the keeper of my heart

My soul, my life, my way.

And He delights in freedom

For it was His idea

I’ll dance through heaven’s hallways

Where life and love are clear

For it was His design, His plan

He doesn’t turn his face

But celebrates my freedom

Holds me in His embrace

Held lovingly, in Father’s arms

I cry “How great thou art”

For He designed, created me,

And always holds my heart.

Always, no matter what befalls

Forever without fail

For He’s the author of my dance

The wind within my sail

The vastness of my God is more

Than I could ever tell

And in His word it states that He

Created all things well.

That’s me, that’s you, created well!

By God’s designer hand

No errors and no second best

But by the Master planned

And so I dance, for in this truth

I find release and might

For if I trust that God made me

He must have done it right!!

Hallelujah!

Karen Holmes 11^th August 2013