God of Real things.

Based on a true story :-)

I knocked my nativity set over
It had been neatly set out and displayed
I bought it a number of years ago
So it's a little bit old I'm afraid

But, each year I remove all the wrapping
And I take out each small wooden shape
The stable doors are opened
And a nice little scene I create

There's a star on the top - it slots into the roof
But each year there's a little less straw
I felt sad when I knocked it all flying
And Joseph fell onto the floor.

Two of the wise men fell over
Though the other remained on his knees
As he offered a gift to the baby
and the donkey looked on, none too pleased.

Yet Mary seemed quite unaffected
And that's how she's often portrayed
Incredibly calm and collected
In clean, uncreased clothing arrayed.

The reality though would be different
With noises and smells all around
and numerous people milling about
in a strange, unfamiliar town.

Mary would surely be tired
And Joseph a little concerned
by the angels and wisemen and shepherds
and the strange revelations they'd learned.

In all of that chaos, a baby cries
God in human form
In amidst the discomfort and disarray
Our Saviour, our King was born.

And it's often in our darkest times
That God is really found
When we're frightened or we're struggling
When there's no-one else around

He steps into our chaos
Our disrupted lives, our mess
He's there right in the midst of it
To ease our pain, our stress

Let's not pack Jesus away again
When Christmas has passed by
You can't wrap him up and hide him
No matter how hard you try.

He's a real God, for real life
For whatever you're going through
And He wants you to believe in Him
He wants to be real to you.

Karen Holmes
21 December 2013

The Ghost of the snowmen

This is a poem written for the Penny Black which I frequent regularly.  They have had problems during this year with the plumbing and water pouring through the ceiling - here is the real explanation.

Twas the night before Christmas at the Penny Black
Two snowmen and penguins dropped in for a chat
They stood at the bar and gulped down some beer
They seemed in fine spirits and full of good cheer
There was mischief afoot though, a glint in their eyes
For they planned misadventure, an awful surprise!

Now those of the bar staff who worked Christmas eve
Had lost faith in Santa and scarcely believed
But still they had hoped that peace would prevail
They'd checked all the food - all was fresh, nothing stale
They'd had a new carpet for the mad, festive season
And felt quietly confident - not without reason

But the penguins and snowmen had wicked intent
They drank at the bar and then upstairs they went
They'd sneaked in some baileys and a bottle of sherry
And slowly, but noisily got rather merry
They sang Christmas songs at the top of their voices
(some customers left when they missed out their choices!)
The snowmen and penguins got drunker than lords
And threats of a ban were completely ignored.

The staff were so shocked as they showed them the door
They'd never had penguins behave badly before!
Then suddenly getting quite red in the face
The penguins all shouted "it's too hot in this place
Can't you turn down the heating? we're feeling quite ill"
Then they left and went dancing round Sir Rowland Hill!

But strangely the snowmen had quite disappeared
No-one could explain it, though all thought it weird.
The truth of the mystery is easy to tell
The snowmen got warmer and didn't feel well
They started to melt and they dripped on the floor
And the ghost of the snowmen remains evermore!

For once in a while, the ghost haunts the pub
It drips through the ceiling on customer's grub!
The staff blame the plumbing and say there's a leak
for of penguins and snowmen they're frightened to speak!
And, each night before Christmas by old Rowland Hill
The penguins still gather and remember them still
Then they glance towards Pennies, with a glint in their eye
As with two little drips, the snowmen say "hi"

Karen Holmes
14 December 2013

A Glimpse of Your Glory - The Transfiguration Luke ch 9 v 32

Have I fallen asleep on the job Lord?
Have I wasted a moment or two?
Do I take a day off when it suits me?
Have I lost my excitement for You?

Have I lost my initial enthusiasm?
Is my passion beginning to flag?
Am I finding it hard to keep going?
Is it all just a bit of a drag?

Have I grabbed forty winks on occasions?
Have I slept when I should be alert?
Have I grown just a little complacement
And persuaded myself it won't hurt?

Your disciples were sleepy one day as You prayed
They'd been very busy, they'd stood quite amazed
As people were healed, from bondage released
They'd heard your great teaching, seen stormy winds cease
The dead had been raised! The hungry were fed!
They'd gathered the baskets of left over bread.

But now they were tired and weary
Their thoughts probably drifted away
They went up the mountain with You Lord
And relaxed as You started to pray
Then somehow they kept their eyes open
And we're told in this wonderful story
That when they were fully awake
They saw You in all of Your Glory!

Don't let me waste precious moments
Nudge me and keep me awake
Challenge me out of complacency 
I don't want to make the mistake
Of missing a glimpse of Your Glory
Or a fragment of heaven's delight
Which could fan into life the flame of my faith
And cause it to burn again bright.

Keep me watchful, awake and alert God for You
Anticipating all of the great things You'll do
Fill me with excitement, a yearning to see
The power of Your Spirit, at work Lord in me.

Karen Holmes
18th June 2007

Lighten Our Darkness

Turn on the light, so I can see more clearly
the handiwork of God throughout this world displayed
The crashing might of waves upon the ocean
Each tiny flower so splendidly arrayed
The detailed edge of intricate, fine petals
The autumn leaves with brilliant hues ablaze
The evidence of God's artistic passion
All freely given in many different ways.

Turn on the light so I can gaze in wonder
at Springtime sights of blossom like a cloak
upon the branches previously so barren
A world unseen just waiting till you spoke
A new awakening, life unfurled, rebirthed Lord
If only I had wings on which to soar
If only I could dance, reborn like nature
I'm sure I'd grow to know and love you more.

Turn on the light, inspire my poor, dim vision
To look again with eyes that see anew
the truth that's visible to those who search still
To those who take the time to think things through
To those who cannot simply follow blindly
like some lost sheep who's brought back to the fold.
I seek to gain a fresh perception
A living meaning to the stories told.

But many like the depth of shadows
They feel secure in what they think they know
In hearts long padlocked, chained, held prisoner
They struggle with life's ebb and flow
So pressurised to have the answers
So desperate to yet make sense
of all the painful quirks of living
they've spun a web of deep pretence.

And I've been captive to their thinking
Afraid to move, afraid to breathe
And slowly I've become frustrated
And inwardly my heart has seethed
For surely if the son has set me free
He's set me free from church tradition
He's loosed the chains that held me bound
The cords of dusty, false religion

The light of God can't be diminished
He's closer than the air we breathe
He's not confined to one dimension
He's found by many who believe.
Our finite way of understanding
means that we cannot comprehend
that God exceeds our limitations,
no matter how long we may spend
in somehow shaping Him to our mould
In saying the truth is ours alone.
He moves through all the world unhindered
And speaks in languages unknown.

The light is shining ever brighter
For God and I remain entwined
But He removes the ties that shackle
The misconceptions that confined
The door's flung open, I am blinded
By the sunshine of His grace
By the power of Holy Spirit
chasing cobwebs from this place
Free at last!  as He intended
Free to worship as I ought
Free to turn from years of darkness
To the light of truth I sought.

Karen Holmes
23rd March 2009

Where's my truth?

This poem speaks about the way we like to be in control, and that's ok, it's a human part of us.  But when it becomes too much to hold everything together we realise that there's more to life than the minute detail of our planning and decisions, our souls cry out for nourishment.  And so, when I speak of relinquishing control to God, I do not mean that we let go of all we seek, I do not mean we become less, I mean that we then reach our highest potential, our highest gain and enjoy our fullest life!  Inspired by a conversation with a friend.



I'm in control, my life's all sorted
I know my plans, I won't be thwarted
My head is full of things to do
Each day I think of something new
I'm working hard to earn the cash
Yet every penny's spent so fast
I'm trying to keep the plates all spinning
And usually it seems I'm winning.

And yet..........

I long to know so many things
If I could fly I'd spread my wings
And travel all the earth to find
The answers to my searching mind
I'd search the temples, wisdom seek
I'd sit enthralled as wise men speak
For many viewpoints thrive out there
But where's my truth, my solace, where?

I seek..........

Then God, in His all knowing way
Steps into chaos, gets in our way!
And silences all other voices
That clamour for our hasty choices
Bids them cease and slows down time
Brings stillness to this soul of mine
He rushes not, but tenderly
Reaches out, takes hold of me
Enfolds me in His warm embrace
And wipes the tears from off my face.

I know.......

It's God and me, none to distract
And my soul leaps to interact
with God - for in the depth of me
I recognise that only He
can fill that emptiness I find
remains, despite my crowded mind.

And I relinquish every goal
And cry "Oh God, come take control
For only then will I attain
The fullest life, my highest gain.

Karen Holmes
August 25th 2013

Where Are You?

This “poem” was triggered by a conversation with a friend.  I cannot now remember all the details of that conversation but it went along the lines of “despite all the looking, I don’t know how or where to find God.”

From my own experience I do agree that God can seem elusive and very often it is a step of faith which initiates our experience of Him rather than a step of absolute conviction.  As time goes by I realise that I find less of God in the Church and more of Him in my heart and in other people, often those unconnected with the church.  God exists, I have no doubt of that but He is, in my opinion, portrayed incompletely by the Church.

**********
I’ve been looking for You for a while now, God, seeking You out in the hidden places
Looking for You in tear stained faces, calling Your name in the dark.

I’ve been looking for You in the grand cathedrals, in the pages of books, dusty and torn
It seems I’ve been searching since I was born.

Where do You hide?  And why, I wonder.  Inaccessible, gone from view
If I searched the whole wide world, where oh God would I find You?

Perhaps in the East, amongst the tourists, in the temple of Jerusalem
Or on that hillside, place of the skull, do You dwell there now as You did then?

Are You in heaven, looking down?  Seeing our struggles, watching our search
Will I find You if by chance I happen on the perfect Church?

Do You want to be found God?  Is this a game of hide and seek?
How long must I look, how long before You speak?

Prove Yourself God!  Come on out of the safety of wherever You are, come and touch my life - and I, in turn will touch those scarred and nail torn hands.

God, where are You in my struggles, in my grief, my loss, my hunger for the truth?
Come and reveal to me the greatness of Your resurrection power, come and relieve my aching heart, come and set me free to dance, to rejoice, to believe, to see…

To see the reality of Jesus, to dwell in the presence of the Most High God.
Where are You?  Where are You?  Where are You?


And God replies-

I am here, I am the breath of wind upon your face, the sunshine that warms you, the snow that makes your fingers tingle with cold.

I am the food you eat, the sustenance you need to survive, I am the roof over your head, the warmth of the fire in the centre of your home.

I am the tears you cry and the laughter that resounds.  I am your hope.  But most of all I am Love.

Not that I do love or I am capable of loving - although these are true - but that I AM love, the very essence of my being is love, my very nature is love.

Each time you celebrate love, you celebrate me.  Your kisses, your hugs, the ones you hold close to you - the expression of your love is the expression of all that I am.

Your friends, your family, the one whose hand you hold as they cry, the one you embrace in the middle of the night when you feel alone, the one you reach for - proof of me, a demonstration of all that is good.

The one you call your lover, the one who sees you truly naked - not of garments but of all that you portray to the world in order to survive - that is love, and I am love and I am in all you do which is loving.

You say you do not know me, but you do.  You know me in every kind word, every gesture of tenderness, every tear you wipe away, every time you say, “I love you”, you prove that you do know me.

Now, come, let me embrace you in the fullness of love such as you have never known before.  A love that will never fail you, never disown you, never let you down, never cause you pain.  A love that is all consuming and all encompassing and all knowing and all providing and ALL that you could ever need.

How?  It’s easy! Talk to me, accept that you were never intended to struggle alone, accept that the way to me is easy, and I am closer than you think.  All you have to do, is come to me.  I am waiting for you.

Soul Dance

In a darkened place, in a box closed tight

So many things kept out of sight

And some would say it’s for the best

To not unlock the treasure chest

But my heart and soul cannot agree

For they’re dancing in the light

And it would be cruel to return them to

Their prison, due to fright

For what is fright but fear of that

We haven’t known before

And how can we expect to grow

If new truth we ignore

The things that our souls know are true

Are valid, vital, real

And I can’t go a squandering

The deep delight I feel

I totally refuse to take

A step back into hiding

But stand up tall with head held high

In heavenly love abiding

Oh yes, you thought that I’d forgot

Or fallen far away

Yet he’s the keeper of my heart

My soul, my life, my way.

And He delights in freedom

For it was His idea

I’ll dance through heaven’s hallways

Where life and love are clear

For it was His design, His plan

He doesn’t turn his face

But celebrates my freedom

Holds me in His embrace

Held lovingly, in Father’s arms

I cry “How great thou art”

For He designed, created me,

And always holds my heart.

Always, no matter what befalls

Forever without fail

For He’s the author of my dance

The wind within my sail

The vastness of my God is more

Than I could ever tell

And in His word it states that He

Created all things well.

That’s me, that’s you, created well!

By God’s designer hand

No errors and no second best

But by the Master planned

And so I dance, for in this truth

I find release and might

For if I trust that God made me

He must have done it right!!

Hallelujah!

Karen Holmes 11^th August 2013

Only what You plan

This has been my prayer today.

Only what has my name upon it

In heavens treasure store

Only that would I desire

Nothing less but nothing more

For that which you have marked as mine

Will only ever bless

Whilst other things that I might seek

May bring only distress

And I believe that you Oh God

Are interested in me

And I’m convinced your one desire

Is to delight in me

So only what you’ve named as mine

Only what you’ve planned

All the treasures that you have

Within your mighty hand

These only would I seek today

These only will be mine

And I will trust that you know best

Oh God make my will, thine.

Karen Holmes

July 31^st 2013

Healing

Healing is laughter

Healing is tears

Healing is talking

And sharing our fears

Healing is streams

And mountains so high

Healing is holding my hand

When I cry

Healing is stillness

and days spent with friends

Healing’s forgiveness

And making amends

Healing is rainfall

At last after drought

Healing is dancing

And fooling about

Healing is love

A hug and a kiss

Healing is being with

A loved one you’ve missed

Healing is praying

And walking alone

Healing is sharing the things that we own

Healing is touching a life full of pain

Bringing a smile and laughter again

Healing expressed in so many small ways

Healing should flow through our lives every day.

Karen Holmes

July 31st 2013

Pebbles

Pebbles.

All sizes, all colours, some roughened edges, some very smooth

All mixed together, all rubbing shoulders with all the others as they move

With tide and waves and sea, with folk like you and me

As we picked out the ones that called to us.

All changing, constant movement displaced by shifting sands

Picked up and turned around, examined closely by oh so many different hands

Some taken home to keep, some thrown back to the deep

His vast creation that somehow calls to us.

And as we sit, allowing nature to enthral us

We too are moulded, edges smoothed, and strivings eased

We find redemption in crashing movement

And in the peacefulness we hear God’s own reprieve

His voice resounding on the horizon as sunlight bounces upon the waves

As darkness deepens and thoughts find stillness

Our world is suddenly embraced in love and grace

And when we rise, we leave the chains that bound us

We move more closely with that powerful force

For nature demonstrates the power, the truth, the greatness

Of heaven’s king, the one eternal, mighty source.

For we're all different, all mixed together, but if we let Him mould and shape us to His will

He will be faithful, enrich and change us, if we will only find a moment to be still

And let creation speak, and hear the call to us

To be that new creation we are meant to be

Then we we'll be unafraid of waves that crash and break

For God is in control of earth and sky and sea

So take my hand oh God and let me ever move

In the direction that you mapped out from the start

take my whole being now, my soul, my thoughts, my goals

And nurture only what you've planted in my heart.

Will you come stand with me and hear creations call

Will you throw off the things that hinder and ensnare

And like the pebbles, we will move as He directs

Upheld, supported always by His loving care.

Karen Holmes

July 31st 2013

The Real Me

Some years ago I wrote a poem called "The Real Me" and felt at the time that I'd written it for somebody else.  I now believe it was also about me.  My few days in Brighton reminded me of it and I have now written an updated version.  Here is the original

Take me to the city, lose me in the crowd
Silence my emotions with music played too loud
Numb my pain with one more drink for no one knows me here
Another stranger smiling with artificial cheer

Help me put my mask on, hold it firm in place
There's too much vulnerability displayed upon my face
I'll say my lines and play my part
To hide the pain within my heart

Let me act on life's great stage
Play pantomime until old age 
And one day I might dare review
My days, my years, my whole life span
Will you then tell me who I am?
Or who I was, once used to be
Before I lost the real me.



And here is the one I wrote last night

Take me to the city, introduce me to the crowd
When emotions surface, we'll share stories and be proud
Pain is eased and somehow truth is visible and clear
Together we are stronger and our smile is more sincere

Help me take my mask off, give me no hiding place
Permission has been granted for me to show my face
The laughter and the tension, the longings of my heart
Are valid and acceptable, my journey to impart.

Let me dance on life's great stage
Enjoy my role until old age
And when I take my final bow
And credits roll for one last time
Let it be my life I have lived
And may my legacy then be
that I embraced the real me.

Karen Holmes 
24th July 2013

What's in a name?

"I have called you by name" says God, God who made the heavens and the earth declares that He knows my name and uses it to call me.

Can this be so?  He says He is the good shepherd who knows his sheep by name, and I am part of his flock.

Today I have been thinking about names, when I went to collect a prescription the lady greeted me and immediately got my item from the shelf - she didn't need to ask my name, she recognised me and remembered.

Then, as I walked home I saw someone I knew at school, she was always alone at school and I used to be friendly, try to talk to her, but she couldn't respond, she was obviously on medication, obviously depressed and lonely but unable to be reached.  I have seen her a few times in town and said hello.  But today God said 

"Use her name"

As I approached her eyes were focused on the ground, she wouldn't have seen me but I said hello and used her name.  I called her by name.  And she looked up, surprised and said "Hello, K....Karen?  Uncertain whether she'd got the name right but willing to try.

How many had called her by name today?  Had anyone?  She stopped - to my amazement, and I asked her how she is.  We had a conversation.  I learned that she is still struggling and found myself saying, "if I meet you again and we both have time, we can go for a coffee if you like"  She smiled - smiled!  I don't think I've seen her smile before.  And she said "that would be nice"

And then tonight, on the news, I heard that President Obama had got somebodies name wrong.  It made the news!  That's how important names are.

And this blog is for poems and yet this is not a poem. What's in a name?

God knows my name, He uses it.  He identifies me as "Karen" amongst all the other people in the world.

And he knows your name too.

Karen Holmes
June 20th 2013

A word of Warning

Diabetes, let me tell you
You and I will soon fall out
We've walked together for so long
Yet frequently you mess about

You change the rules, yet give no warning
The plans I've made, you disregard
Like spoiled child who's plans are thwarted
You still rebel and make things hard

One day in church you threw a wobbly
So whilst they served communion bread
I sat in shaky, sweaty stupor
And Jelly Babies ate instead

You like to make a mockery
of all my efforts to control
And stand in great contempt of all
who set a target or a goal

Consider this your final warning
You'll get an ASBO if you dare
to treat me with such disrespect
and act as if you do not care

We have to live together
Though friends we'll never be
Dear Diabetes, understand
You've met your match in me!

Karen Holmes
February 3rd 2011

Rededication

Many years ago I went to hear a singer at a local Church of England church.  God spoke that night of having a special plan, a special job for me and gave me a promise from Exodus 23:1-30

"See I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared"  Do read the rest of the passage if you are interested as some of this poem is based on it.  Other parts of the poem touch upon Ephesians ch 6 "Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes"

Sometimes walking the paths that God has appointed us to walk will upset a few people, we may become unpopular with people who previously liked us but didn't this happen to Jesus as well?  Didn't He challenge the religious teaching of the time?

Here is my rededication of myself to the guidance of God and to trusting in Him alone.

Lord I would kneel in solemn dedication
of my intention to trust in You alone
Oh God I'll stand upon the truths you've taught me
Though that might mean I'm often on my own
But what is man if he should turn against me?
what can he do that impacts on my soul?
For futile are the efforts of mere mortals
compared to Your safe keeping, your strong hold
I clothe myself with armour clad with glory
and take my stand gainst any scheme of man
Against the powers, the darkest evil forces
I'll stand my ground against the devil's plan.
For You have said no flame or fire can harm me
No depth of water can dislodge my feet
from that planned path that You have set before me
For You're my shield, my anchor, my retreat.

Lord hear my daily made rededication
May angels guard me and prepare the way ahead
Lord be my food, my nourishment, my healer
In You I trust, by You I'm safely led.


Karen Holmes
20th May 2013

The Heartbeat of Heaven

This week has been important to me and has made me realise how wonderful it is when we are in tune with the heartbeat of God, when we dance to the beat of His heart.


I'm practicing the dance of Heaven
For the steps are written in my soul
I'll choose to move in step with the King of Glory
This must be my one important goal
Though there are many other dances I could join in
The dance of heaven found an echo from the start
I'll dance right here yet in the presence of angels
My steps in time with the beat of Father's heart.
Who else can hear the melody of wholeness
The harmony of tenderness and grace, 
Who else has ears attuned to heaven's glory?
The music that transcends all time and space
Across the land we'll dance as He directs us
And hand in hand we'll move at heaven's pace
The heart of God is beating out the tempo
He leads the way, a smile upon His face.

Karen Holmes
May 19th 2013

Risen Indeed!

He is risen indeed, I know that it’s true
I’ve met with the risen Lord, have you?
He’s shown me the scars in His nail torn hands
And yet now at the right hand of God He stands
In Glorious splendour, in beauty arrayed
The victory is His, the price has been paid.

He is risen indeed, the tomb’s empty and bare
The discarded grave clothes are all that are there
For death’s power is broken, it’s strongholds torn down
Jesus is living, with majesty crowned.
His rule is unending, His might undiminished
The curtain was torn, Jesus cried, “It is finished”

He is risen indeed, our glorious Lord
Ascended to heaven, by angels adored
The one mediator, He opened the door
For us to know God, He redeems, He restores.
From sin we’re delivered, liberated, set free
Come let us declare, “He is risen Indeed”


Karen Holmes
March 2008

Named as His, as He is mine

I have His name engraved in me, not visible to human eye

But there it is, for evermore, most clearly marked until I die

Marked as His own, labelled so clearly

For He declares He loves me dearly

Sealed by His spirit, life's guarantee 

That's why He died, to set me free.

To do away with needless striving

To put an end to deaths cruel threat

And I believe His promise to me

For never has my God failed yet.

He has my name, upon His hands

Engraved forever for His promise stands

He knows my ways, my moments too

He tells me "I know everything bout you,

So have no fear, for you are known

I've seen each day as you have grown

I've watched your moments and your days

I've seen your torment, heard your praise

You're named as mine and I as yours

That's how it is for evermore.

For evermore! He has decreed

I need no further guarantee

It's signed and sealed, it's certain sure

There is no need to ask for more

There is a place assigned to me

For Jesus holds my destiny

I'm known as His, and He as mine

In life, in death, through endless time.

Karen Holmes

March 17th 2013

A Sliver of light.

In recent days the emerging rethinking of well known and well respected evangelical Christians regarding the teaching on gay issues has been much in the public eye.  And my heart has rejoiced and my spirit has danced as never before.  This is my take on the process and my hope for the future.  The "it" at the beginning is the separateness, the silence, the fear of voicing an opinion, the fear of swimming against the tide.  I have long held the view that not only does the church cause more distress to gay men and women but it also makes itself less than whole.  Jesus talked about the "Body of Christ" and the different parts of the body that make up the whole and functioning body.  If for whatever reason we exclude our Christian brothers and sisters we leave ourselves less than whole, less than fully functional, less than complete.........

Dear God let this be a turning point, let this cause many to consider what is true and what is right.  Touch hearts I pray.  Amen.


It resembles a vast, high wall of stone
And few will dare to try
To reach beyond their certainties
Though hearts on both sides cry.
The lonely separation hurts
Divided we cannot stand
Even loved ones cannot find a way
To hold another’s hand.
Families fall divided
Long friendships bruised and battered
For words become as sharpened swords
And lives are torn and tattered.

Oh where is love?  Where mercy?
Where justice, hope and peace?
We’re called the broken hearts to heal
The captives to release.
Where are the hands of Jesus?
Who will be salt and light?
Who’s comforting the hurting ones
Who weep throughout the night?

Now tiny gaps appear there
The brickwork’s not so strong
And hands are reaching through to hold
The ones who have been wronged
There’s hope in once dead eyes again
And tentative relief
For hands are raised to heaven
To grasp long held belief.
God lead us ever onward
Into Your truth, your plan
Forgive our misconceptions
About our fellow man
Oh teach us, guide us, bring us
To where you’d have us stand
And govern every word we speak
So all will understand.

Karen Holmes
19 January 2013