No Good Crying?

Dedicated to Ian, who lost a whole bottle of vodka today due to a flimsy and weak carrier bag.

It's been said that it isn't the end of the world

If you spill just a small drop of milk

But a bottle of vodka all smashed on the floor

Or most any fine drink of that ilk

Really is a good reason for tantrums

And throwing the toys from the pram

And I'd do the same if it happened to me

Calm though I normally am.

I'd be looking for somewhere to place all the blame

So in this case it has to be Spar

For their carrier bags are atrocious

They're the cheapest and thinnest by far.

And I think I can say fairly safely

That a refund should quickly be sought

For the carrier bag wasn't fit for the purpose

As all retail goods really ought

I'd be filling in forms by the dozen

Demanding I get compensation

For surely this ought to be possible

At the manager's dispensation

But make it quite clear what you're wanting

For it would be terribly sad

If they sent you a letter saying “sorry”

And a brand new Spar carrier bag!

Karen Holmes

6 November 2010