Fear

Fear......we all experience it at some time, and these recent months have held more than a fair share for me. I choose not to be conquered by it but to try and enjoy each and every day but with the current debate about my medication, the pros and cons, I am forced to think about the future and what it may hold. My diabetes too is an ever present pain in the backside and sometimes I think that doctors should have just one day to see what it's like!  The poem ends by stating that at the end of the day it is God who is in control of our ultimate destiny.

What does fear do but ensnare

Mistakenly we tarry there

Sometimes fear is justified

And many are the tears I've cried

Yet nothing is achieved nor gained

But the expression of my pain

And maybe that brings some respite

From trying to know what's wrong, what's right

Deliberating the unknown

Being told it is my choice alone

And yet in truth I have no power

To add to life a single hour.

But medics act as if I can

Influence my own lifespan

And I agree in certain ways

Life choices add or subtract days

Yet this seems out of my own hands

I must decide, I understand.

But maybe choice is over ruled,

my body seems not to be fooled

by drugs. It stubbornly rebels

It's own decision clearly tells.

Perhaps this time it will comply

All I can do is trust and try.

But do not point the finger those

Who watch with interest how things go

For if I had the chance I'd choose

to think on happy things,not muse

On medical dilemmas or

Worry bout what lies in store

Believe me doctors who decree

The drugs you think are good for me

You've no idea, you've not a clue

For it's not happening to you.

So don't play God, it's not your role

I am His child, He's in control.

Karen Holmes

November 9^th 2010